


Pizzeria Au

by orphan_account



Category: LazyTown
Genre: AU, Btw I am still working on this, I'm so sorry I take months to update, M/M, domestic AU, expect update soon, lucky us there are only two ships, okay writer will shut up now, or are there?, ships may take their sweet sweet time, sportarobbie, uhhh forgive me i just wanted to write for this fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-28 08:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11413929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Pizzeria au nobody (literally nobody) asked for.Slowburn pizza romance.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a crack fic idea that started out by a joke between my qpp and I about pizza puns and coffee aus. It has since spiraled out into my control, and is becoming an actual story.
> 
> keep in mind that my writing style might shift quite a bit as I try to find something that I like.

Our protagonist for this story, Robbie Rotten started up the company’s car, having just grabbed an order from the pizzeria. It was the ungodly order of an extra every vegetable you could possibly name vegetarian pizza, thin crust, and thin cheese. And to add onto the ungodly concoction, a desert pizza, extra chocolate chips. Robbie shuddered at the orders. He made this same delivery every Saturday night, for three years now. For as long as he had worked at the pizzeria, now that he was thinking about it.

He took a turn onto Lazy street, where the two customers lived. They were a father and a child. A man around his own age, and a teenage girl around his own daughter’s age. From what he understood from three years of briefly speaking with the father, the man was a health nut. His kid, Steph as the other called her, preferred sweets and would spoil herself after a week of hard work at school.

Robbie parked the car right outside of the house, the neighborhood was quiet. It was around 9:00 pm, after all. This family ordering pizza so late at night made Robbie wonder if they also watched movies on Saturdays, or something.

With a huff, Robbie walked up to the door, pizzas in hand, and rang the doorbell. Robbie totally wasn’t jealous that this family got to hang out so late while he had to work. Totally not thinking about his poor Ella, at home, usually eating a microwaved dinner in his absence.

He heard a shout on the other side of the door, probably the girl letting her father know the pizza was here. Moments later the door was opened, revealing Sportacus. He was a short and stalky man of 5’8, with blond hair and blue eyes. On his face was a thin mustache and a goatee.

“Hello! Good afternoon! You’re here to deliver the pizza, yeah?” Sportacus started.

“You see me every Saturday afternoon, Scheving,” Robbie started to say. _And you say this every time_ , though Robbie refrained from saying that to him. He didn’t need to lose his job over poor service.

Sportacus frowned, looking up at Robbie with a puppy-like expression painted all over his face. He looked so guilty, honestly. Like he had just been kicked onto the curb. Robbie bit his lip, almost feeling bad himself. But how could that be? Sportaflop was the one who owed him the apology, not the other way around!

“I’m sorry, Robbie. I was just joking around, and I didn’t consider that I may offend you…I hope you can forgive me,” Sportacus apologized, genuinely sorry.

Robbie simply sighed and shoved the pizza into Sportacus’ arms. Sportacus took a moment to steady himself, and then set the pizzas down onto the couch, which was right by the door.

“Come on, Scheving, you know I don’t have all day,”

Sportacus laughed then. “The pizzeria closes at 9:00, surely this is your last delivery for tonight?”

Robbie rolled his eyes. “Just because you’ve never seen my home doesn’t mean I don’t have a life outside of my job. Just pay. It’s 11.99, in case you forgot that too.” Robbie’s tone was scathing.

Sportacus flinched, not expecting such a bitter response to his own playful jab at Robbie. He quickly reached into his wallet, however, and payed Robbie the pizza money.

Robbie turned to leave planning to try and get home early enough to bid his daughter a goodnight. Before he could, he was stopped at the door by Sportacus. The other man had his hand on the other’s shoulder, almost having to lean up to reach Robbie’s larger height.

“Robbie,” Sportacus seemed to lose his voice for a moment.

“Yes?”

“Could you maybe call me Sportacus?”

“No way.” Robbie walked out the door in that moment, leaving Sportacus alone to his daughter and pizza and a movie, or something along those lines. Maybe they would watch one of those ones where a strong man rescues a girl, pseudo adopting her as the action movie goes on. Those were Ella’s favorites.

Sportacus bid him a goodbye, raising his voice loud enough that Robbie (and the whole sleepy neighborhood) could hear him. He also bid Robbie a goodnight, and “sweet dreams too!”

Robbie almost smiled at that. Almost.

The man got into the car, starting it up. Maybe if he was super quick, he could catch his daughter getting ready for bed and bid her a goodnight. And, perhaps convince Ella to stay up a little longer? She had ballet from 11:00 Am to 2:00 every single day, so she liked to get a goodnight’s sleep, even on the weekends. How long has it been since they had sat down and watched a good movie together? Not since he had first taken her into his custody? That was around the same time he had to get a job anyways.

Being a villain simply didn’t pay to feed the household.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_What Robbie didn’t hear was the other man’s daughter, Stephanie, teasing her father relentlessly over what a nervous wreck he was being._

_“Dad! Just do it! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you asked to hang out or whatever it is adult men do in their free time together!!” She’d say in between sticky bites of pizza._

_“But he seemed so… like the last thing he would want to do is hang around me anymore than necessary.” He replied._

_“You can’t make friends if you don’t talk to him, dad! I’m sure he actually thinks you’re cool!”_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insidious plots begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while when I said I would soon. I'm not going to lie, I was having writers block. I'm just going to post this short chapter already.

Alright, I'll tell you the absolute truth. I hate mornings. It's not just that I'm simply not a morning guy- no. I cannot stand having to get up in the morning, it's awful. Torture. A level of hell on it's own. 

I've got to hold on to consciousness as my daughter is dragging me out of bed, and I've got to wash my face and get clothing on as I'm barely coherent enough to avoid hitting the wall. I'm not even awake by the time I stumble out of the bathroom to make breakfast. And I can't have coffee, the anxiety attacks simply aren't worth being awake a few hours earlier than the usual. But sometimes. Sometimes, while my daughter is nagging me to get up and make us breakfast and drive her to the school she so insisted on going to, I deeply consider taking a few gulps of steaming hot coffee. Then we finish up breakfast and I sober up a bit, and the consideration is faded. 

I can hardly drive my little Ella to school if I'm having anxiety over getting out the door, can I?  

We exit the house together, and I already regret not making Ella bundle up any more than she was. It was foggy and chilly, not so much that he'd drag her back into the house to grab a winter coat, but it certainly wasn't skirt and tights weather. 

Now that I think about it, it's just about to be winter soon. Not too long before snow starts to hit the ground, and I'll have to drive in it. Oh goody! Not. 

I get in the driver's seat, unlocking the back passenger doors for Ella to get in. She practically jumps in at the click. 

I back out of the driveway after verifying that she did indeed put on her seat belt. 

"Sooooooo, " I started. "Excited for today?"

I can feel her grinning holes into the back of my seat, though all she says is that I'll like it. 

Oh well, kids will be kids. Just as long as it wasn't half as diabolical as the things I had done as a kid, things would be alright.

We got to the school without causality, despite how groggy I still felt. I yawned, unlocking the car doors again for her to get out. 

As we say our 'see you later's for the day, I notice she had grabbed her jacket from the back of the car. It was leather with a fluffy inside. Smart of her.

"Dad? "

"Yeah, prima-ella? " I ask. 

"You're a mess! " She then runs off into the school without another word. 

Kids are mysterious. 

With that I pull away from the school, but not before catching a glimpse of a familiar face. He was short, blond, had a mustache, and was decked out in blue. 

Sportacus. 

That guy had a daughter too. And that daughter went to the same school, didn't she? 

I don't realize I'm staring until he looks back. He takes a moment to recognize me, when he does, he's grinning and waving in my direction. And then he's waving towards himself, but not as greeting. He wants me to come closer-  wants me to come closer. Me- closer. 

Nope. 

I pull out quicker, and am almost speeding my way out, but not quite. I get out of there, and don't dare to turn and look back. 

\----  
Dad drops me off at school, not realizing he was wearing stained shorts because he's an absolute dork. I can't believe my dad. Well, he's not really my dad, but I call him that a lot. It started when he used to look after me, and I'd accidentally call him dad. After that it didn't take him long to adopt the role of father to me. 

I head to my classroom, getting there just in time. As my teacher was taking role call, I started writing a note to my bestest friend in the world. 

She was the pink haired girl sitting across from me. Today she was wearing a white head band and a black sweater with a pink dog on it. She was smiling to herself as she doodled in her english notebook, completely unaware of my existence. From this angle, the doodles looked like her dad, but in superhero getup? 

Her name was Stephanie. 

I hastily wrote down what I wanted to say onto the note, tearing it out of my notebook to pass to her. I carefully stuck it in her notebook. She'd notice it eventually, and hopefully that would be soon because I loved talking to her. 

And her handwriting. I liked that too. Handwriting is nice to look at, and her's was definetly the handwriting of a true friend. She writes in cursive too, and I'm trying to relearn that. 

"Elaine Rotten? "

I hear some of the other kids snicker at hearing my name, and some whispers too. My heart pounded, and I almost wanted to hide my face. This wasn't anything I wasn't used to, but it still hurt a tiny bit each time. 

Stephanie looks up from her doodles, flashing me a tentative smile.

I try and smile back, feeling something hot and acidic in my throat. 

"Here. " I manage to say. 

The teacher is quick to silence the other children with a hard look, though she smiles warmly to me. As warm as pavement on a hot day. 

She lists a few more names, and then after that, class begins. 

We get started on our maths as Stephanie slipped a folded note into my fingers. Another thing she did, she folded her paper while I left mine unfolded and obvious. I shove the note into my jacket pocket and start copying down the math on the board. 

While the teacher is busy helping out a few of her other students, I pull the note out and start to read. 

'Hey, Ella!

You're really funny, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. I think you're really neat, and people who can't get that don't know what they're saying. You should really tell somebody that our classmates are being mean to you though. 

Hey, did you know your dad delivers pizza to my place? I can't believe I just made the connection today. Dad and I were running late today, and when he dropped me off, I saw you and your dad!!!

I think my dad likes your dad... 

-Steph <3 '

I quickly absorb the information given. First off, my friend thought I was neat and wanted me to report our rude classmates, second off, my dad knew her dad and her dad likes mine. 

She thinks. 

In that moment I was so horribly tempted to tell my friend that we'd try to set them up together. That I thought my dad was super lonely and needed another adult with him. And you know what? Who's to say temptation is so bad? 

Scribbling down my note onto another corner of the same page as the other note. I passed it to her.

She grinned mischievously as she read the note, and I'm sure I had a grin to match. 

To follow the temptation was my gut instinct. 

I went with it, of course. 

\----  
I collapsed on the couch as soon as I got home, not out of tiredness, though I wouldn't mind a nap. It was out of a little bit of anxiety, really. It felt like everything was closing in, and I had to sit down to keep from falling down. The car ride back to here was lucky. 

Why did I decide to let Ella go to public school? 

She had asked. And you were barely out of high school yourself. And she had asked. You couldn't teach her anything. And she had asked. You didn't know what to teach her. And she had asked. You didn't have the time for a job and for teaching a kid. And she had asked. 

It was because she asked, above anything else. She had wanted to be in public schooling, so I signed her up for it. 

The only real inconvenience was running into freaking Sportacus. 

I sighed, breathing in just a little too deep and feeling empty when I exhaled. 

That guy. That jerk. 

I wouldn't just not show up anymore, as Much as I'd like to avoid him. I'd still have to deliver to his house, and I'd still have to drop off Ella every morning. Even if I didn't like it. 

...sometimes I wish my cousin were still around. Glanni would be able to teach Ella, he was that intelligent after all. And even if she still wanted to be in public school, at least he'd have someone who maybe understood how this felt.

Not being able to change everything to my liking, because I'm an adult now, and having everything perfect was just not mature. Beggars can't be choosers. That was the saying, right? 

Glanni was hardly mature himself. More accurately, he was, just not how you'd expect it. He wasn't mature because he'd make the right decisions or be a good role model. He was the opposite of what you wanted your kids to grow up as. 

The man was a criminal mastermind. 

And he was the family member who had accepted him into his home when I had found myself being pushed out of my own. We had never met beforehand, but he knew I existed. He realized that something was up when I was reported missing and presumed to have run away from home (I hadn't run away, I was kicked out, and there was no way I was coming back). 

He let me stay in hiding with him while I finished attending school. By the time I was found, I was already 18, and my cousin had been jailed for numerous thefts. I was left with his place and his daughter,  Ella. 

My parents could do nothing about that, and as stressed out as I was, that detail had not escaped me. 

My cousin had helped me. Without knowing me personally. He didn't know if I was actually a trouble child or not, he simply let me stay with him to be safe. 

He wasn't a role model, but he gave me a chance. Sounds pretty mature to me. I wasn't an adult, but he helped me make a pretty adult desicion. 

And then he left me alone. With a house. And his kid. 

I rolled over on the couch, feeling less anxious, but head running to the brim with thoughts. I got off the couch, stretching my feet. Time to put on my uniform and get to work. 


End file.
